To Stress Or Not To Stress: Seven Steps To A Calm Engagement

You just got engaged and discovered, to your immediate dismay, that everyone around you has an opinion about your engagement and your wedding day. This is one of those things that wedding magazines rarely discuss. However, it is very easy to navigate through these stressful waters, when done appropriately. Here, I have put together seven solid suggestions designed to help you relax and enjoy your engagement, rather than stress out and worry about your wedding day.

First things first; enjoy being engaged. You were just asked what is undoubtedly the biggest question of your life. Let it sink in. Enjoy the moment because before long, everyone around you will be doing the same! Relish in the fact that you are beginning a life together with your soon-to-be spouse and that it starts now.

Second, hire help if you can afford it. A wedding planner is part fairy godmother, part therapist, and part social coordinator. In other words, a wedding planner does the stressing for you. She takes your ideas and makes them into reality, while listening to your concerns and helping you manage them. The planner is YOUR champion who will jump through hoops for you and protect you from the “what ifs” that invariably come about.

Third, make an outline of your likes. Your planner can’t make your wedding day dreams come true without knowing what they are. Do you want a vintage wedding or a modern one? A white wedding or one that is colorful. Do you have a theme in mind or do you want help picking one? Will your wedding be small or large?

Fourth: focus…focus…focus….on the important things. YOU are getting married to the man or woman of your dreams. This is a celebration not only of yourselves but of the life you are starting together. Make this a team effort and include each other in some of the decisions and make it FUN! There are so many aspects of a wedding that can be done together as a team and are fun. Food and cake tastings are a great example. So are engagement photos and many couples elect to create a website for their wedding. Make it yours!

Fifth, let your planner lead the way for you. When you are feeling overwhelmed or lost about decision-making, ask your planner for help. That is what she is there for! Not sure about canapés vs sushi? Have your planner work with you with your caterer and figure out a creative solution that works for everyone and keeps your budget in mind. Honeymoon quandary? Your planner probably knows someone to introduce you to that has been in the same position.

Sixth, have a pre-wedding date weekend. You don’t need to go away but plan to set everything aside as the wedding draws closer and plan a special weekend of activities for just the two of you. Maybe a day at a local spa and dinner at a favorite restaurant or even something as simple as binge-watching your favorite television shows and eating your favorite foods at home. Regardless of what your “pre-wedding timeout” is, make it count. This is a chance to turn off the phones and email and just connect with each other. Remember, this is about you.

And lastly, celebrate you! Remember, on your wedding day it all goes so fast. With family and friends from out-of-town and around home, guests you haven’t seen in a while, and all the beautiful energy of the day, it is important to remember to celebrate you! You did it! You got married and survived your engagement with as little stress as possible. And when you think back to your wedding day, I hope it is with the love, warmth, and excitement you felt on that very day.