Ask WendyK

“Eyes are the window to your soul

Compassion is the window to your heart

Experience is the window to your brain”

With the combination of my Eyes, my Compassion and my Experience, I hope to answer all of your questions – and then some!

To submit your questions for “Ask WendyK” send an email to wendyk@aol.com

Am I Wrong?

Dear WendyK, I am getting married in 7 months. I am not a “mainstream” thinking bride. I have made numerous concessions with my mom, but I draw the line at the type and choice of music for the ceremony. I absolutely do not want her “Classical” music. She says that this is a MUST for a wedding. Is that true? Am I Wrong? Dear Am I Wrong? Compromise is what life is all about. I must say, I do respect that you are working this out with you mother. It is not my place to go any deeper than the specific question that you have raised. There are no laws written, that I am aware of, as to the specific music for a wedding ceremony. The various religions dictate ceremonial aspects, but not the music. As long as your choices are within the boundaries of being reasonable and respectful, I do not see why they cannot be achieved. As lovely as Classical music is for a wedding ceremony, it is not for everyone. Your choice of music genre should reflect your personality while at the same time be respectful of the sanctity of marriage.... read more

Dear Awful

Dear WendyK, I am so confused. I am an “older” bride, but it is my first marriage. I want a traditional wedding – complete with bridesmaids and groomsmen. This is my fiancés second marriage and has two grown daughters. My problem is that I really don’t want them as bridesmaids in my bridal party. We are not on the best of terms. Am I Awful? Dear Am I Awful, Well —– maybe a little. You love your fiancé, correct? You plan to be together for the rest of your lives, correct? If you ask your future stepdaughters to be in your bridal party, it will not only please your fiancé, it just might be the perfect act of kindness to change your entire relationship with these girls. You can ask them to either be part of your bridal party, or if your fiance’s parents are deceased, they can escort their dad down the aisle. When I choreograph a wedding ceremony I am respectful of tradition, but I also customize the procession to reflect the personality and dynamics of the bride and groom. And —— if the girls say “NO” – you will still be a hero because you did the correct and thoughtful thing. Let me know what happens.... read more

Running Late

Dear Wendy K, I want to start planning but I can’t even seem to choose a date? How do I choose the date for my wedding? Running Late Dear Running Late, Every facet of your wedding is monumental and shares importance. But, there is an order of details. Obviously, first you need to find your soul mate and make a commitment. Once that has been accomplished, your next step is to choose a date for your wedding. Family dynamics vary as much as sizes and shapes of brides. Due to these dynamics, there are a myriad of reasons – whether personal or financial – that lead to specific choices of dates. When growing up in New York City, the day of choice for the “upper crust” was Thursday as opposed to the traditional Saturday or Sunday. Holiday weekends are sometimes chosen for the joy of having a three-day celebration. Sometimes that is the exact reason a holiday weekend is not chosen. Sundays are generally less costly than Saturdays – except on long holiday weekends. On the east coast, May, June, September and October are more expensive due to the popularity of those months. First you “try” to please everyone — but at the end of the day, please yourself and your future spouse. Once your date is solidified, we at “Party Perfect” will take over and make all the remaining decisions fun and easy for you both. Wendy... read more

Best Man/ Worst Man

Dear WendyK, I feel awful saying this, but I absolutely cannot stand my fiancés choice of a Best Man. What should I do? Best Man / Worst Man Dear Best Man / Worst Man, This is tough. On the one hand, every time you look at photographs and video of your wedding you will focus in on this person that you cannot stand – which potentially can ruin your lasting memories. But —- the “other hand” is a far better argument. A very important component of love is trust. You will be trusting your chosen partner with your life, finances and potential children. You need to pull up your big girl/boy panties and start trusting his/her judgment in friends. You must tell yourself that if he/she chose this “Best Person” to be his/her friend —- then they must be worthy. Hey — how do you know that your fiancé even likes your Maid of Honor???... read more

Grown Ups Only

Dear Wendy K I know this can be a touchy subject, but I would rather not have kids at my wedding. How do you suggest I tell people “NO KIDS ALLOWED”? Grown Ups Only Dear Grown Ups Only, Don’t stress!!!! I completely understand why you might not appreciate having young children attending your wedding. If the child is in the bridal party, i.e. flower girl or ring bearer, then you might choose to agree to have them attend the Cocktail Hour. Once that is over and the Reception begins, they should be sent home or up to their room with a pre-arranged babysitter. I always have a family member that the child is familiar with to be at the staging area prior to the Ceremony as well as someone sitting where the child can see them as they walk down the aisle. One “unappreciated sound”, and the child should be taken away – pre or post ceremony. As far as uninvited children of guests that request for their children to be invited ——– this is your decision not theirs. You can simply explain that this is an adult party and children do not belong there. As your planner, I would hire a nanny service as well as set up a separate room with pillows, blankets, games, snacks and movies. This way, the children and the adults can have fun — and never the twain shall meet. If all else fails — just blame me!! Wendy... read more

Curious

Dear Wendy K, I have heard recently that paperless invitations are becoming a trend for weddings. What do you think about them, tacky or unique and fun? Curious Dear Curious, When it comes to a couples dream day, whatever they want goes! That being said, I would never say anything they pick is tacky! Paperless invitations are on the rise as a “new age” way to invite guests to your big day. This is a great option for tech savvy 20 and 30 something couples who find the electronic process more eco and budget friendly. However, paperless invitations can leave some of your most important guests behind. Think of your grandparents, older relatives, family friends or even your parents! Some of them might not have email or understand an electronic invitation. They will most likely not bother to RSVP to an email and wonder where there invitation has gone. Paperless invitations can also strip the wedding of its formality. Wedding invitations should always be traditional whether your wedding is going to be semi-formal or black tie. The invitations should be as beautiful as the day itself and sometimes paperless invitations can take that away. I believe paperless invitations are a great way to save money on invitations for events such as the Rehearsal Dinner, Save the Date, Bridal Shower or the Brunch. These occasions are usually less formal and therefore, paperless invitations are perfectly fine! At Party Perfect we strive to make your big day the best day of your life. So if you chose to use paperless invitations we will help you through every step! However, in this... read more

New and Afraid

Dear Wendy K, I am newly engaged and don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing! All of the magazines I read have timetables that make me very overwhelmed! Help! New and Afraid Dear New and Afraid, The hardest part about planning a wedding is figuring out where to start! So, I completely understand why you would feel overwhelmed right now. Leave it to me to guide you through, from the beginning to the end! I will make this Magical Journey a fun-filled Memorable Experience, not a stressful one! I do this by giving my clients “homework assignments” that help keep them stress free. The most important aspect of wedding planning is staying organized and knowing what you need to be doing each month leading up to the BIG DAY! My “homework assignments” will keep you organized and focus in the months, weeks and even days prior to your dream wedding! I make sure that my clients know that I am there to help them every step of the way. I will take your stress away and make planning your wedding just as much fun as the day itself! Wendy... read more

In or Out

Dear Wendy K, Some of the venues I am looking at for my big day have in-house coordinators, why should I spend money on an outside Wedding Planner? In or Out Dear In or Out, Although an in-house coordinator may seem like a great deal, they can also cause some added stress. In-house planners are loyal to one thing first and foremost, the venue. That is their place of work and they want you to use all of their preferred vendors. The in-house coordinator usually handles only day-of issues and isn’t interested in working past their usual hours. That means that the months leading up to the wedding you will have little support from your planner. I believe, as an outside Wedding Planner that is the most important thing I can provide my brides, support! I am 100% my clients advocate and will do everything in my power to make their dream wedding come to life. I consider myself a Wedding Producer and hold myself responsible for ALL aspects of the wedding. The couples I work with always end up saving money in the long run. If you want a certain vendor I will work with you and with them for your big day. I am here to help you, no one else. Unlike an in-house coordinator I am “on call” 24/7. I never close shop because I know that there is never a moment of rest when planning your dream wedding. Hiring an outside planner is definitely an added expense, however, as your wedding planner I will save you money, time and not to mention keep your wedding... read more

Lost In Translation

Dear Wendy K, I want to have a destination wedding but I’m worried about it being too hard to plan. Any advice? Lost In Translation Dear Lost In Translation, Destination weddings are always a fun alternative to the traditional wedding! When it comes to a destination wedding, there are two steps you have to take to prep before you start the planning. The first is to choose a destination carefully, there’s a perfect destination for every couple. Some couples might want a nice countryside instead of a laid-back beach. No matter what you think your guests would prefer, this wedding is about you so choose the destination that fits you. Second, don’t stress and trust your planner. That’s where I come in. At “Party Perfect”, we want to make an overwhelming experience as stress free as possible! We will take care of all of the communication with the destination vendors to make sure your big days runs smoothly! Follow those two tips and you’re destination wedding is sure to be a dream come true! Wendy... read more

Unconventional

Dear Wendy K, I have never been known as a “conventional” girl, but my mom says I have to have a traditional wedding.  What are your thoughts? Unconventional Dear Unconventional, Traditional Weddings will never go out of style.  They are classic and timeless – much like an Armani suit.  But – there are a great deal of brides today that are willing to step “out of the box”.  Color is being used more than ever.  Brides are not hiding behind the whites/ivories/champagnes and sorbet colors anymore.  They are embracing bold bright and expressive colors, and having actual themes to reflect their individuality.  This is being enhanced by their gown choice, décor and menu selection as well.  Another exciting and popular trend for the over 30 set is the Destination Wedding.  At that point in their lives, they have been guests or members of bridal parties so often, that they want something different for themselves.  When a bride and groom are in their late thirties and older, most of their friends can afford to participate in a Destination Wedding, and it becomes anywhere from a full weekend to four or five days of activities rather than four or five hours at a local hotel.  Whatever you decide – make it all about YOUR dreams and who YOU are. Wendy... read more